


In Disturbia

by pieceofshir



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mental Institution, F/M, I don't actually know anything about mental illness, M/M, Memory Loss, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Natasha Romanov Has Issues, Psychosis, They all have issues, pathological liar, so much past trauma, traumatic events
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-08-19 19:49:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16541045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pieceofshir/pseuds/pieceofshir
Summary: Wednesdays mean Tony.Thursdays mean Peggy.Fridays mean Bucky.Natasha is always.That's just the way it is.Until it isn't.





	1. Chapter 1

Wednesdays meant Tony.  
“So, how have you been?”  
Steve had been silent for most of their time together, distracted by the curve of Tony’s smile as he talked, filling the silence the way he always did when Steve didn’t feel up for their Wednesday chats. “I’ve been okay.” He decided. “Missed you a lot, though.” Tony laughed a little, the sound causing Steve’s heart to flutter. “Aw, I missed you too, Steve. But I meant how have you been since your last little, uh, accident.”  
Oh, that.  
“They told you about that?” Steve looked away, ashamed. He wanted to be good, so they would let him go home with Tony soon, but it was so hard when people were just so... so...  
“So what, Steve?” Tony asked gently and oh, he was thinking out loud again, wasn’t he? A nod from Tony confirmed it. “People here... I don’t know. They’re all so weird, and they think I’m weird, too. I’m not like them. I’m normal. Right?” Tony sighed, and Steve already knew what was coming. They’d had this conversation far too many times.  
“Normal isn’t a thing, Steve. They’re all here for their own reason, and yes, you have your reasons for being here, too. You told me you understood that, do you still?”  
Right. Of course.  
“I do,” He smiled, because despite the situation, those two words always brought back happy memories. “It’s just, Tony... I want to come home. It’s been too long.” Steve felt tears behind his eyes, threatening to spill. “When can I come home, Tony?”  
Of course, he knew what he was doing. He’d done it before, more times than he could count. But Tony had the same reaction every time.  
“Hey, Steve, no...” He moved from his chair to join Steve on the couch, and wrapped him in his arms. “I want you to come home, you know that. Everyone wants you to come home. But we want you to be safe more, so you have to stay here.” He was leaving stuff out, but Steve could fill in the blanks on his own. Sure, he was safe here, but they were also safe when he was here.  
That was why he couldn’t go home.  
“That’s enough for today.” Tony decided, smiling kindly at Steve as they both stood up. “Until next week, I want you to think about... the best day of your life. Sound good?” Steve nodded, even though he was a bit confused. He couldn’t think of any event in his life that had been even slightly more than fine, but he felt like he was forgetting something.  
Or, someone.  
\-----  
Thursdays meant Peggy.  
“Steve?” Nurse Potts smiled at them from the doorway, “Come with me, please.”  
Steve rolled his eyes as he closed his book and stood up. It was going to be Peggy again, of course. God, she was the one who was meant to be in a hospital, the girl was absolutely obsessed with him. But, it made Tony happy whenever he heard that Steve played along, so he could suffer for a bit. For Tony.  
“Steve!”  
As usual, she leapt into his arms, and he spun her around with a bright laugh. It always made her smile, and she really did have a nice smile. Tony thought so.  
“How are you, Peggy?” They sat in their usual spots, the blue couch in the cozy visitor’s room. “Oh, same old, same old. I just sulk around and miss you.” her tone was teasing, but something in her eyes told Steve there was some truth to it. She had visited him every week since he had been admitted two years ago, even though he couldn’t really understand why. But Tony always got happy when he would talk about his time with Peggy, so, what else could he do, really?  
“Steve, I heard about... your little ‘episode’ last week.” She looked wary, as if he might attack her for bringing it up. “Steve, they were talking about letting you come home before, what happened?” and really, what was he supposed to say to that? Sure, maybe the doctors had been talking about that, but the other patients?  
“He... Clint, he was asking me how it felt, knowing I was gonna be stuck here forever.” He hadn’t even told Tony that, but for some reason, he was opening up to Peggy, and, was he crying? Not even like how he would with Tony, but for real?  
“Steve.” And great, now Peggy was crying, too. “You’re not going to be here forever, I swear. But you can’t let other people get to you like that, you have to talk to someone when this sort of thing happens. Steve nodded, because he knew, of course he knew, but sometimes...  
“The pills.” Steve focused on a spot on the ceiling, “I know they’re supposed to help me... be normal,” he motioned for Peggy to stop before she could even begin to protest, “But, I can't... when I take them, I feel trapped. In my own head. I can think about what I should do, what Tony would tell me to, or what I just know is right, but I can’t say it, and I... it makes me mad. And then, well, I want to hit something. So, I do. Sometimes it’s Clint. I-” he looked down at his lap, shame flooding him as more tears spilled, “I’m sorry, Peggy.”  
Just like that, he had spoken more to Peggy than he had in the past two years. Things he hadn’t been able to admit to Tony, but now it was just flooding out of him. He felt relieved that she wasn’t trying to hug him, or tell him everything would be okay. “You haven’t told this to anyone, have you? You’ve been here for so long...” He shook his head, burying his head in his hands as he sobbed. God, he was so fucked up, he could never be normal, he was never going to go home, but what did it matter? Did he even have a home to go back to? He couldn’t honestly say that he remembered anything from before the day he was admitted-  
“Steve?”  
And he had been talking out loud again. Great.  
“Do you... not know who I am?”  
Steve shook his head, refusing to meet her eye.  
“I... I think I have to leave now.” She mumbled, standing up, “I’ll see you next week.” She took a step away, paused, and then came back to where he was sniffling on the couch, and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, like she did every week.  
“Goodbye, Steve.”  
And then she left, just like every week.  
\-----  
Fridays meant Bucky.  
He would come just as Tony was finishing up with Bruce, and he always had new books.  
Also, he looked Steve in the eye when they talked, and not many people did that.  
“All good, Steve?” Bucky clapped him on the back, smiling brightly. “Did you finish the book I gave you?”  
Steve nodded, returning the copy of Watership Down. “It... was something, I’ll give you that much.” Bucky laughed, taking the book. “It’s not for everyone, but anything’s better than nothing, right? Tony’s told me about the selection here, and it’s a damn crime.” He fished a new book out of his bag. “This one should hold you over for a while, Tony and I... we’re going away on Sunday, not sure when we’ll be back.”  
The Complete Sherlock Holmes. Steve tried to ignore the sinking in his heart when he heard they were leaving.  
“Thanks, Buck.” Steve was sure his smile came off as more of a grimace. A glance at the clock told him that there was still quite a bit of time before Tony would be done with Bruce. He tried to think of something to say, but before he could open his mouth-  
“What are you doing here, Barnes?”  
Bucky sighed, turning to smile at Natasha. “How’re ya doin’, Nat?” over by the doors, Steve saw Nurse Potts’ hand move to rest over her pocket, where he knew she kept a taser. Natasha had a problem with Bucky, something Steve couldn’t really understand.  
Neither could Bucky.  
In fact, Steve wasn’t even sure that Natasha knew what her problem with him was.  
“I was fine until you showed up.” She growled, glancing behind at the “Days without an Incident” Chart

STEVE- 3  
NATASHA-6  
BRUCE-0  
DON THOR-538  
CLINT-92

 

Bucky chuckled nervously, inching toward Steve. “I, right, I’m sorry, Steve, why don’t we go to your room? Please?” Steve nodded, leading Bucky away, Natasha’s glare indicating that he was going to pay for that later.  
“That’s one scary woman, I don’t know how you all aren’t constantly shaking in your boots.” Steve nodded distractedly, putting the book on his shelf and laying on his bed, leaving enough room for Bucky to lay next to him, just like always.  
“You gonna tell me about that 3 I saw, punk?”  
Of course.  
“Not really.” Steve answered truthfully. No point in lying, Bucky was his best friend. He’d see right through him.  
“Did you at least tell someone?”  
“I told Peggy.”  
“Good. Is there anything you do want to tell me about?”  
“I told Peggy.” Steve repeated. “I couldn’t tell Tony, but this stranger... I just told her.”  
“Peggy’s a stranger to you?”  
“Why is everyone so surprised by that?”  
Bucky shrugged, but Steve could feel him tense up beside him. “So... what am I to you?” Steve turned his head slightly to look over at Bucky, who was fidgeting with his phone. “My best friend.” He told him, before sitting up nervously, “Why? Am I wrong? I just- I really don’t-”  
“Steve,” Bucky put a calming hand on his shoulder, “It’s okay. Honestly, I’d be hurt if you said anything else.” He smirked, “I mean, who’s your other option? Natasha?” They both laughed at the idea, and Bucky gave Steve a little nudge. “But, do you remember how we met?”  
No. Just like Peggy, Bucky hadn’t introduced himself that first week. But-  
“You always come to visit Tony.” Steve said, “I always just assumed you two were friends, and meeting me just sort of... happened.”  
The other option was that maybe Bucky and Tony were... but Steve didn’t like to think about that. To Steve, Tony was something special, that no one else could touch.  
“Why?”  
Fuck, he needed to do something about this thinking-talking thing.  
“I, uh...”  
Deep breath. This is Bucky, he won’t judge.  
“Tony is the first person I remember meeting who didn’t treat me like I was insane.” Steve began, “He’s just so... warm, you know? Every time he’s around... I can’t explain it.”  
Bucky sighed, looking anywhere other than Steve. “God, man... I don’t know how to tell you this...” He opened his mouth, but whatever he was going to say was cut off by the door creaking open, and Tony poked his head through with a bright smile.  
“Hey! Pepper said you two were in here!” He stepped in, Taking everything in. “No pictures, Steve? Would’ve thought at least-” Bucky stood abruptly, cutting Tony off.  
“Dr. Stark, you and I have an appointment, remember? To discuss Stevie’s progress? Remember?” The two shared a look of some sort, and then Tony was nodding, already stepping back out. “Right. Of course. Progress. There’s been, uh, a lot. Steve” He nodded at the blonde, who waved back.  
And then they were gone.  
He waited until the footsteps faded completely, and then began counting the seconds.  
One...Two...  
“Steven Rogers!”  
Three.  
“You had no business hiding him away like that!” Natasha stormed in to his room, blocking the doorway. “Explain yourself.” Steve rolled his eyes, taking the book Bucky left him and opening to the first page. “Bucky is my friend, Romanoff. I like his face not smashed in.” She glared darkly, but he had known her for two years. What he didn’t expect was for her to lean against the doorway and give him a sympathetic smile.  
“I heard them talking, you know.” He closed the book, waiting for her to continue. “Tony thinks you’re moving backwards. Could be two more years before you get out.”  
Two years? But why?  
“Maybe because you’re a psycho who can’t keep his thoughts to himself?” Natasha suggested, glare back in place. “Whatever. I don’t actually care, but that’s what they said, so stop moping and come on, I need you to take the remote from Thor.”  
She left, and Steve followed her.  
What else could he do?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Days don't mean what they used to anymore.  
> His three constants are gone.  
> But were there really ever three to begin with?

Wednesdays didn’t mean Tony anymore.  
Now, Wednesday meant Nurse Potts, smiling apologetically as she explained that Tony was still gone.  
With Bucky.  
“We’re looking for a replacement Psychologist, but, you know... Dr. Stark is great with all of you, and we need someone who can at least match him. It could take a few weeks. Until then, is there anything you want to talk about?”  
Steve shook his head, looking up from his book. Of course he wanted to talk, but not with Nurse Potts.  
She was nice enough, but she wouldn’t look him in the eye.  
“Well, Bucky sent over a few of your sketch books, and some new colors. Isn’t that nice?” She gently placed them on the edge of his bed, and he could tell that she was too nervous to walk the few steps to his desk. “I’ll leave you be.” She decided, closing the door behind her. Something about the book brought back ghosts of memories, the smell of paints and some sort of perfume. Hesitantly, he picked up the sketchbook. Surely, if Bucky had sent them over, he wanted Steve to see whatever was inside? Maybe it could help jog his memories. Just as he was about to open it-  
“Steve!”  
Great.  
“What, Natasha?” Steve really didn’t have the energy to put up with her, not without Tony’s never ending list of reasons why he shouldn’t strangle her.  
“Put that book down and come hang out with me.” She smiled, as if he should be thanking her for her wonderful idea. “We’re gonna go pretend we like Bruce so he won’t try to kill himself again.”  
“I actually like Bruce, he’s sweet.” Steve glared at her, before adding, “And he understands when people just want to be left alone.” Natasha narrowed her eyes, staring him down.  
“Steve, eventually you’ll realise that people do understand, they just don’t care.”  
She left, but he didn’t follow. Bucky wanted him to draw, so he would draw.  
Maybe then they would come back.  
Slowly, he opened the first sketchbook, simple, black, and with the word ‘FAMILY’ written in a silver marker.  
Did Steve have a family? Why didn’t they visit-  
Well, maybe they did.  
The first page was a sketch of him with Bucky, and was that Peggy? They were surrounded by other people he didn’t recognise, but made him feel warm inside all the same.  
It looked like they were in uniforms, had they been in the army?  
Oh, guess not. At the bottom, in Steve’s messy scrawl,  
‘The Howling Commandos always wanted to be soldiers. Guess we were just born in the wrong decade.’  
The Howling Commandos.  
“Come on, Bucky!” Steve laughed, waving his trash lid in the air as he ran, “Dum Dum’s been captured, we gotta save him!  
They were only in second grade, but they had been playing this game for years.  
Gabe and Jim were wrestling on the ground, while Steve and Bucky snuck around, climbing up the ladder. “We’re coming, Dum Dum!” Bucky called out.  
“Freeze!”  
At the top of the ladder, holding Dum Dum’s shoulder-  
“Agent Carter.” Steve sneered, “We meet again.”  
“It appears so, Captain America. Stay back,” She warned, “Or your little friend goes down.”  
“What do you want?”  
Her eyes sparkled. “You already know. Hand it over, and no one gets hurt.”  
“Don’t do it, Cap!” Dum Dum cried out, “I can take her, this isn’t worth-”  
“I’ll do it.” Steve decided, ignoring Bucky and Dum Dum’s gasps. “But first, you gotta let my teammates go.”  
Peggy nodded, looking over the edge and signaling something to Jim, and the fighting stopped. “Barnes, take your little buddy and get out of my sight.” She nudged Dum Dum lightly, and the two scrambled down the slide, laughing loudly. “Now, Captain, I believe you promised me something?” She smiled brightly, taking a step closer. Below, Steve could hear his friends giggling and whispering, and even though he was the smallest boy in the second grade, Peggy still had to look up at him, her big brown eyes sparkling-  
The memory faded, and Steve was back on his bed, staring at the notebook.  
The Howling Commandos.  
His friends.  
From before.  
He turned to the other two sketchbooks, deciding that one was enough.  
For now.  
\-----  
Thursdays didn’t mean Peggy anymore.  
Now, Thursday meant pushing his food around his plate instead of eating, and trying to ignore Natasha, the only other patient who never had any visitors.  
“So Betty Ross is here for Bruce, and can you believe anyone actually likes that guy?” She stole a few fries off his plate, and Steve couldn't even be bothered to bat her hand away. “Nat, I like Bruce.” Steve reminded her, “So does everyone else. You’re just-” Her head snapped up, and he had to bite his tongue to keep from finishing that sentence. “You know I overheard Pepper talking to your girl on the phone. Peggy?” She smirked once she knew that she had his attention. “She isn’t coming back. Ever.”  
Time seemed to slow to a stop as her words sunk in.  
Ever?  
But... she was always there for him. Every week, his constant.  
His best girl.  
“Best girl? God how old are you?” Natasha snickered, but Steve wasn’t listening anymore. He was already rushing out the cafeteria, ignoring Nurse Potts when she tried to stop him at the doors.  
He threw himself into his room, breathing heavily.  
His best girl.  
The words made something inside him flare up, but he couldn’t focus on the feeling enough for it to mean something. He grabbed one of the untouched notebook from his desk, a faded brown with the word ‘HOME’ written in big black letters. When he opened it, his heart skipped a beat.  
It was a girl.  
And she was sleeping.  
And written in his handwriting, right by his signature, was, ‘Peggy looks so peaceful when she sleeps.’  
He took a few minutes, just following the lines with his fingers. Clearly, he had drawn this from memory, but it was so well defined... how many times had he seen her like that?  
At least that explained why Peggy had seemed so freaked when she found out he didn’t remember her, if they were sleeping together. Maybe they had dated? He flipped the page, and-  
Oh.  
Oh, fuck.  
Her hand, holding his, entirely black and white save for the matching wedding bands.  
‘The day my life really began.’  
He slammed the book shut, tossing it aside while he tried to process the new information.  
He married Peggy?  
“I married Peggy!” Somewhere in the back of his mind, the memory was beginning to resurface.  
“I married Peggy Carter!” He yelled, fists in the air as he danced on the roof. He wanted all of Brooklyn, all of New York, to know that the most beautiful girl in the world was officially off the market.  
“It’s Peggy Rogers now, and I’d appreciate it if you’d remember that.” He turned to where she was standing, her ever present teasing smile right where it belonged. “Come on, Mr. Rogers, Bucky is driving us to the airport, like, five minutes ago!” He all but sprinted over to her, sweeping her off her feet and spinning her while she squealed. “He can wait a few more minutes.” She pressed their foreheads together, like she always did, and his tone grew more serious. “I would do anything for you, you know? Anything for my best girl.” She smiled softly, because she knew, of course she knew, they were Steve and Peggy, and nothing could ever separate them-  
Except for...  
The memory ended there.  
Steve’s hands balled into fists, and he punched his pillow in frustration. Flipping through the book, he saw sketches of what he assumed was their house in between pages of Peggy. He saw a dog, and he knew it was named Dodger before he read the caption, ‘Dodger Rogers’  
God, why had he thought that was funny?  
Probably because every time he said it, Peggy would roll her eyes fondly and give him a kiss and-  
She had to come back.  
Maybe Natasha hadn’t heard properly... He would ask for next Thursday.  
He turned to the last sketchbook, figuring that if the past two held memories of Peggy and Bucky, the next one would explain his relationship with Tony. Maybe.  
Hopefully.  
\-----  
Fridays didn’t mean Bucky anymore.  
Now, Friday meant holding Natasha back while the rest of the ward tried to contain Bruce.  
“You know,” Clint smirked from his spot on the couch, “I’m sure that if we just let them go at it once, they’d never try to kill each other ever again!”  
“Or,” Steve grunted, narrowly avoiding Natasha’s elbow, “You could be a little bit helpful, as the only person able to calm this psycho down?” Clint rolled his eyes, but nodded. “Tash! Calm down, you drama queen, you’re in New Jersey!”  
How that worked, Steve would never understand, but Natasha calmed down almost instantly. She blinked rapidly, looking around to confirm that she was in fact in The Middle Of Nowhere, New Jersey. Bruce had already gone limp, being carried away after having been injected with a sedative. Thor stood in a corner, as far away as possible, holding a box of pop tarts from his girlfriend, Jane. He never got close to Natasha, but this episode had driven him even further back, despite the fact that he could probably take on every other patient and still come out on top.  
Steve let go, taking a few steps back before Natasha could lash out again. Now that Bruce and Nat were taken care of, Nurse Potts was trying to figure out if she had really heard Steve call Natasha a psycho, and if she should confront him about it.  
Time to leave.  
Steve clapped Thor on the back as he passed, politely declining the pop tart he was offered. Now, he just wanted to hide out in his room, and look through that third sketchbook. Knowing that Bucky wasn’t coming hurt even more since he had started remembering their childhood together, but maybe once he figured out how he knew Tony, he could call them from the ward phone and get them to come back.  
He pushed Natasha’s voice out of his mind, not wanting to hear her reminding him that none of them ever planned on coming back.  
Once again, he found himself on his bed, the third and final sketchbook in his lap. White, with smudges of charcoal around the word ‘LOVE’. This had to be it, his link to Tony. He opened the book and-  
What?  
It was a Christmas scene, probably sketched from a photograph. He, Bucky, and Peggy were all on a couch, drinking and smiling. A dog was half lying on Bucky’s lap, and the tree was beautifully decorated, with piles of gifts underneath.  
‘Nobody could reach Brooklyn through the snowstorm, but Santa still delivered. December 2015.’  
But where was Tony?  
“I’d like to make a toast.” Peggy raised her mug of cocoa, and Steve and Bucky followed suit. The way the light was hitting her, Steve wanted nothing more than to capture her smile on paper, save it forever. “I know that our families couldn’t make it due to the weather, but if I’m being honest, the two of you are all the family I need.” the boys cheered, and Steve felt the warmth spread inside him, sitting between his wife and his brother, his two soulmates.  
Click.  
“Pegs, what the hell is that?” Bucky finally noticed the strange setup, but was too busy rubbing Dodger’s stomach to investigate.  
“Early gift from my mum.” Peggy smiled, getting up to check the picture. “It takes a photo every 15 minutes, captures everyone in their natural states.” She handed the picture to Steve as she fell into his lap, laying her head on her favorite spot on his shoulder. “M’tired.” She snuggled into him, “Bucky, you know where everything is, but I think I need Steve to be my teddy bear now.” Bucky laughed, clearing the cups and heading for the kitchen. “Well, can’t really argue with that now, can I?” Steve smiled apologetically, but Bucky shrugged it off. “Don’t worry, man, you made a vow, go honor it. I’ll clean and take the dog out, just remember the rule, okay?”  
“No sex with you in the house.” Peggy mumbled, and Steve shifted her in his arms so he could stand, carrying her bridal style. He turned, and Bucky pressed a kiss to Peggy’s forehead, pulling Steve down slightly to do the same to him.  
“Merry Christmas, punk.” He whispered, letting Steve stand straight again.  
“Merry Christmas, jerk.”  
Well, fuck.  
For two years, he had been completely ignoring Peggy, instead obsessing over Tony, and for what? What was so awful that he had managed to block his entire life out?  
One thing at a time.  
He needed to get his priorities in order.  
Peggy.  
First, Peggy.  
The way it should be.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I mean I can kind of explain why I've been gone if anyone cares  
> I dropped out of Uni and have been having a crisis :)  
> but anyway I'll say that I'll try to be more consistent but like....  
> oh and also that bit with the rock paper scissors over who gets to be a dumbass is from a tumblr post by @lollytea

Wednesdays meant Peggy now.  
Or, at least, they would.  
Steve bounced his leg as he sat in their usual room, waiting to see if Peggy would show. His notebook was on the couch next to him, something he had never shown Peggy before. Why, he couldn’t remember at this point, but it didn’t matter anymore.  
He had a plan, and he was going to make it right.  
“You asked to see me?”  
He had a plan, but as soon as he saw her, he forgot.  
New plan: He needed to hold her. Now.  
Good plan.  
Steve crossed the room, pulling Peggy into his arms the way he used to, and just like that, the world felt right for a few seconds, or maybe it was a few hours, he couldn't tell. He somehow managed to pull them to the couch while still hugging her, pulling her into his lap as he sat down. How on earth had he gone two years without properly hugging her? What was wrong with him?  
“You’re thinking too loud.” She sighed, and she looked like she wanted to move off his lap, so he shifted slightly, causing her to yelp and put her hands on his chest to steady herself. “Cheeky.” she laughed at his grin, before growing serious. “Not that I don’t enjoy, well, this,” She waved a hand between them, “but do you wanna tell me what brought this on?” Steve nodded, wordlessly handing over the sketchbook. “Bucky sent it over, with a few others.” He felt his cheeks burn, he was so ashamed, how could he have forgotten his entire life?  
“Don’t do that, Steve.” He couldn’t even tell if he was thinking out loud again, or-  
“I know you, Steve, I can always tell what you’re thinking. Since we were kids.” Because they had known each other for decades, and he let it all go, and he didn’t even know why. He was fighting the urge to punch something when Peggy grabbed his hands, now balled into fists, and held them in between her own, smaller ones, kissing them, gently.  
Why was she doing that? Surely she must know that Steve is much stronger than her, he could easily just throw her off-  
“Then why aren’t you?” She challenged, looking down at him.  
It would be so easy to hurt her.  
It would be so easy to kiss her.  
He’d done both of those things before, hadn’t he?  
“I promised I wouldn’t hurt you ever again.”  
She let his hands go, and he held them awkwardly against his chest for a few moments. Once he was sure he could trust himself, he snaked them around her waist.  
Where they belonged.  
“I can’t remember why.” he admitted, suddenly very aware of the cameras in the room. “Or how. Or any of it, really. But I remember... us.” Peggy put her hands on either side of his face, smiling brightly.  
And then she kissed him.  
There was no big trigger that brought his memories back. He didn’t magically remember everything that had led to him being put in the hospital, but at the same time...  
He knew exactly where to put his hands on her back. He knew that when he would move his lightly up and down her side, she would gasp softly, and he knew to seize that opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth. He knew that she would run her hands through his hair, and he knew that it felt the same type of perfect every time.  
He knew that he was hers, and that she loved him even after he had hurt her.  
“Cameras.” She mumbled, and Steve didn’t doubt that she was reminding herself, not him. Reluctantly, she pulled away, stroking gently around his lips. “My lipstick.” She explained, smiling sheepishly, but Steve didn’t care.  
It hurt that he couldn’t remember. Maybe he did have some sort of trigger, but this wasn’t it.  
“Well, true love’s kiss isn’t always the solution.” Peggy giggled, and so did Steve, and then they were both laughing, and Steve still had his arms around her, and Peggy’s hands were resting on his shoulders, and he knew that she’d have to leave eventually, but-  
“I think, maybe, if we both meet with Dr. Stark a few times, together... maybe we can help you remember, and get you home.”  
“Dr. Stark? But- He’s gone. He and Bucky-”  
“I know, but I’ll talk to them. I’m sure Bucky can convince him to come back.”  
It was incredible, what she was willing to put up with, for no reason. Steve didn’t deserve her, and yet she was here,in his arms.  
“Of course I have a reason.” She rolled her eyes. “I love you, and you’re worth it to me.”  
He couldn’t help himself, he kissed her again, quick and chaste, but full of love.  
“How’s Dodger?” He remembered finding the puppy on his way home from... something, and how he had prepared an entire speech about why they should keep him, but the second he had walked in the door, Peggy fell completely in love with him, and that was that.  
“He waits by the door for you, every day at five.” She smiled fondly, and, seeing how that stung, launched into a story about her day. They traded off, back and forth, just like always.  
“I should go.” Peggy said after a while, making no move to stand. Steve hummed in agreement, but hugged her a little closer.  
“I don’t want to wait until tomorrow.” He admitted, “I want to keep you right here. Mine.” He nipped at her shoulder playfully, and she batted him away. “Come now, it’s five right now.” She stood, motioning for him to do the same. “If I make the appointment for ten tomorrow morning, that’s not even twenty hours apart. Think you can do that?  
In all honesty, he didn’t know if he could. Could he, before? He couldn’t remember, but all he wanted to do was keep her close forever.  
“We never spent much time apart.” Peggy admitted, trying to lead him out the door but somehow she just ended up pressed against his chest, his arms around her again.  
Strange.  
“But think, if we can get through these next few weeks, we won’t have to stay away from each other for that long ever again. Okay?”  
That did sound nice.  
“I’m glad, but if you don’t let me go, they probably won’t let me back.”  
Reluctantly, he let her go, following her out the door and into the main entrance, where Nurse Potts was smiling patiently. Steve knew that she had heard and seen everything, but was being nice by not pointing out Steve’s messy hair, or Peggy’s smudged lipstick. “Dr. Stark will see you both tomorrow, ten am sharp.” She nodded, “Steve, why don’t you say goodbye to Peggy, and I’ll escort you to dinner?” She turned to her tablet, giving the two as much privacy as she could. Peggy raised her arms to hug him, but Steve took a small step back.  
“If you hug me again, I might not let you leave.” He admitted sheepishly. She laughed, squeezing his shoulder instead, before walking away without looking back.  
\---  
“Is this really about to happen?”  
Peggy was peering up at the two Brooklyn Boys from behind her book, two shit eating grins smiling back at her. “Peg, we’ve been doin’ this since we were kids, it’s tradi-”  
“I’ve known you since diapers, Barnes. I’m afraid I’m quite familiar with your ‘traditions’.”  
Steve, at least, had the decency to look guilty, but that didn’t seem to deter him, and his hands remained raised in front of him.  
Sighing, Peggy settled back in to continue her book. She’d start to care when something exploded.  
“Bucky NO!”  
“BUCKY YES!”  
And there was the explosion. Bucky must have won rock paper scissors, making it his turn to be a dumbass.  
“Boys?” Peggy called out, turning a page. “Everyone alive?”  
Steve skidded into the living room, kissing her cheek from behind the couch. “Everything is okay, and there is definitely not an egg in the microwave right now.”  
Peggy turned her head to smile sweetly up at her him.  
“Of course there isn’t, because if there were you would be sleeping on the couch for a month.”  
Steve’s face turned impossibly paler, and he opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by Bucky cackling.  
As Steve ran back into the kitchen, Peggy reached for her headphones, smiling as she put them in to block out the sound of her Brooklyn Boys screaming.  
\---  
Smiling softly, Steve let his fingers move over the drawing of Bucky’s maniacal grin, egg all over the inside of their microwave, “That was a wedding gift, Buck.” he remembered sighing when Bucky had suggested just buying a new one instead of cleaning it. What he couldn’t remember was how Tony fit in with them. How had they met? Why was he on vacation with Bucky?  
“Where have you been?”  
Steve looked up to see Natasha leaning against the doorway, and anger burned inside him. She lied to him, said Peggy was never coming back. Everything she had told him about Tony was probably a lie, too. He thought about the chart in the common area, almost 20 days since his last incident.  
He thought about Tony, who always looked so sad when his chart went down to zero.  
He thought about Tony, and he found that he didn’t care.  
“I asked you a question, Rogers.”  
Steve smiled, rising up to his full height, and suddenly realized that he had nearly a foot on her.  
“Yeah, I have a few questions for you, too.”


End file.
